I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
