How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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