Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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