Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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