i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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