Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You are a genius and a whore.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
