You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am spending my child support on dildos
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
