Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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