You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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