Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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