just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize