I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she told me i tasted like america
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
soo... how was my night?
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