oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize