If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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