ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
