This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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