i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
