return my video game
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
