I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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