I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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