he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
