You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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