Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize