I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
