All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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