yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
