During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
