I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
