I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize