i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
