im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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