Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I had to cum in my sink.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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