I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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