My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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