I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
