This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
