whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize