Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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