Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
