you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
