Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
