literally had 100 drinks last night.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My pussy is not your playground.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
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The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
