I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.