Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Not half as good looking as paul

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

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  (248): That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul (313): Not half as good looking as paul (248): I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge http://tfl.nu/0tcw
  Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (417)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.

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  (608): You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have. http://tfl.nu/o937
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (2082) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.

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  (509): My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work. http://tfl.nu/mmky
  Replies (11) Good night (2303) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well said.

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  (757): seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with (703): Well said. http://tfl.nu/migv
  Replies (19) Good night (3446) Bad night (626)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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  (208): why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never. http://tfl.nu/g58g
  Replies (27) Good night (8717) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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  (778): Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me. http://tfl.nu/t7ew
  Replies (2) Good night (1742) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.

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  (602): Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds. http://tfl.nu/km98
  Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (2979) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.

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  (813): I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity. http://tfl.nu/otkw
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

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  (863): And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/3986
  Replies (25) Good night (785) Bad night (3415) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.

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  (714): I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters. http://tfl.nu/itk8
  Replies (5) Good night (2679) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.

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  (604): It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good. http://tfl.nu/yhf8
  Replies (0) Good night (863) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents

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  (802): Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents http://tfl.nu/oucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1691) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.

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  (405): I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities. http://tfl.nu/i4vg
  Replies (7) Good night (556) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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  (970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.

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  (479): Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing. http://tfl.nu/uted
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (101)

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