Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

somebody snuck up and got me drunk

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(215): somebody snuck up and got me drunk http://tfl.nu/xe32

Replies (4) Good night (1619) Bad night (513)
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(917): View more from New York City

I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch

(740): View more from Ohio

enter at your own risk

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(917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch (740): enter at your own risk http://tfl.nu/z8ud

Replies (5) Good night (2478) Bad night (847)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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(720): I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was http://tfl.nu/iq7q

Replies (58) Good night (16780) Bad night (2029)
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(515): View more from Iowa

The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

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(515): The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites. http://tfl.nu/ny6g

Replies (8) Good night (4579) Bad night (1502)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school

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(217): I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school http://tfl.nu/0e3h

Replies (10) Good night (4400) Bad night (1002)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

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(508): There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day. http://tfl.nu/fth0

Replies (12) Good night (3237) Bad night (969)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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(864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu

Replies (21) Good night (3800) Bad night (1894)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

(415): View more from California

No.

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(920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0

Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (605)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.

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(256): Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter. http://tfl.nu/bkut

Replies (13) Good night (705) Bad night (452)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

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(720): Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet. http://tfl.nu/7a7w

Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (457)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?

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(506): Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs? http://tfl.nu/qbtb

Replies (9) Good night (864) Bad night (315)
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(904): View more from Florida

But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?

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(904): But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore? http://tfl.nu/czg8

Replies (6) Good night (379) Bad night (530)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.

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(306): Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am. http://tfl.nu/zysn

Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (225)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!

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(630): Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!! http://tfl.nu/dwug

Replies (15) Good night (717) Bad night (327)
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(239): View more from Florida

The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.

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(239): The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die. http://tfl.nu/hid4

Replies (15) Good night (456) Bad night (1179)

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