Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1099) Bad night (5363)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening. http://tfl.nu/kog8
  Replies (18) Good night (5994) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed http://tfl.nu/zklq
  Replies (12) Good night (6521) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. (410): engineering majors are such efficient drunks. http://tfl.nu/xm4l
  Replies (22) Good night (8363) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (2005) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her. http://tfl.nu/r8ko
  Replies (26) Good night (7270) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present. http://tfl.nu/lnnv
  Replies (5) Good night (2166) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/gina
  Replies (13) Good night (1353) Bad night (6693)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on http://tfl.nu/bpc0
  Replies (5) Good night (2361) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/ef3v
  Replies (3) Good night (1673) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson. http://tfl.nu/op2p
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This drive is very scenic

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I'm chugging whiskey in the back

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As you should, soak in all this country has to offer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): This drive is very scenic (717): And I'm chugging whiskey in the back (610): As you should, soak in all this country has to offer http://tfl.nu/nm28
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.

  (917): View more from New York City

  That's how he does EVERYTHING!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball. (917): That's how he does EVERYTHING! http://tfl.nu/mjzo
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How drunk is she?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): How drunk is she? (1-612): She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her http://tfl.nu/dk7m
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/mb1p
  Replies (0) Good night (328) Bad night (413)

Randomize