Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?

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(305): View more from Florida

considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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(619): View more from California

woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.

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25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

(410): View more from Maryland

engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

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(785): View more from Kansas

he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense

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(410): View more from Maryland

Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.

(443): View more from Maryland

*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do

(1-970): View more from Colorado

enjoy it.

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