It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys