grandma shit on top of the toilet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?