don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.