it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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