my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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