it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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