Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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