i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
