I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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