it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
