New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
