We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
