Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
