Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
