That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
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