apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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