i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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