I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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