hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
